To be honest, so much attention is not always a good thing.
He normally picks you up, presents you with roses and gifts, opens your door, takes you to an elegant restaurant, and endlessly compliments you throughout the night. He repeatedly tells you, his voice laced with incredulous wonder, that he can’t believe you agreed to go out with him since you’re so far out of his league. He treats you like a princess and calls you queen and it’s flattering.
It’s a wonderful change to feel so appreciated, especially if you’ve dated a few self-absorbed, insensitive jerks in the past. You begin to think that maybe he’s “the one.” But then things head south and his sweet attentiveness turns to overwhelming obsession.R
It no longer feels like he treasures and cherishes you; it feels like overbearing possessiveness. Suddenly, it seems to take all your energy to assure (and reassure and reassure again) your man that you love him. It’s sucking the life out of you.
Insecure partners are everywhere! Here are 15 signs your partner is probably one of them
1. He has no outside friends or interests anymore.
He doesn’t hang out with anyone but you. Outside of work, he has no interests or hobbies. He doesn’t go to the gym, play any sports, take any classes, volunteer or even go to church.
2. He thinks you still have feelings for your ex and may accuse you on any slight issue.
When he is not with you, he is sitting at home thinking about you. Or maybe he did have friends and hobbies at one time, but he gave them all up in order to spend every minute with you.
He is convinced you haven’t gotten over your ex, even if you’ve been divorce or broken up for years and the only feelings you have for him are disappointment, pity, loathing, disgust, and a smidgen of residual hatred.
His insecurity is so overwhelming that he cannot see reason and will convince himself that you could not possibly love him, so the only “logical” conclusion is that you’re still in love with your ex.
3. He tells you he loves you right away.
Very early in the relationship, he professes his undying love for you. You could fly through the air while shouting, “He loves me! He loves me! He loves me!” But the sane part of you feels like, “He loves me? Wait, what? This is our second date. That’s crazy-talk.”
It takes time to get to know someone enough to love them, and if your new boyfriend is telling you he loves you right off the bat, it should sound warning bells, especially if he pressures you into saying it back to him.
4. He tells you that you are the paramount of his everything.
He tells you that you are his world, the center of his universe, his reason for living. At first it may seem flattering to be valued so highly, but being the center of one’s world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s too much pressure to live up to.
And what happens when you hit a bump in the road in your relationship? When things aren’t going smoothly, his world falls apart. He falls apart because you arehis world.
5. He needs constant validation.
He frequently asks you questions like, “Do you love me?” He fishes for compliments. Then when you assure him that you do find him attractive, he doesn’t believe you.
Everyone likes to hear that they’re loved, pretty, talented, attractive, intelligent and desired, but his needs go beyond those of the rest of us. He generally suffers from low self-esteem, which incidentally is the driving force behind many of his insecure behaviors.